I am a reformed meddler, a recovering codependent and through CHRIST JESUS each day I walk more and more victoriously over these impulses. Each day I am learning that I do have an ending where others begin- I walk individually and no matter how much I love, a certain detachment is better for myself and those I care about. When others moved on I used to have panic. When my loved ones hurt, I agonized.
Although I still struggle with jumping in front of "real life" for those I love (thinking I am actually helping them) each day I get better. Yesterday I read in Romans 12:6-8 the Codependents creed:
(Msg)you preach, just preach God’s Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don’t take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don’t get bossy; if you’re put in charge, don’t manipulate; if you’re called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don’t let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face."
What really stuck out was, "if you help, just help, don't take over". That is my drug of choice. For me it created a dependency on me by others. I confused that with love. I really thought and truly believed in the innermost part of my heart that I had to hold on to others so tight because if they left I would die.
I don't have that intensity anymore. It took a long time but it was possible. My life had become one big train wreck. JESUS saved me. JESUS intervenes when I am weak and JESUS showed me that I was loved in spite. JESUS forgave me when I couldn't forgive myself. JESUS gave me a new life and hope! Thank YOU JESUS ❤️