I have acted with pride instead of humility and as a result, life has tumble me all over. GOD loved me anyway. GOD provided me gentle pushing when I was being stubborn; courage when I was being scared; peace when I was feeling like falling apart and most importantly, love when I felt I should be hated.
How we act under pressure says a lot. I hear my husband talk about “psi” a lot when he is speaking about construction or vehicles. Basically, to my understanding it has to do with the amount of pressure something can take before something else happens. Humans have a level of “psi”. It is called endurance.
I pride myself on the amount of pressure I can take before I break. Humanistic-ally translated, I take on what I can as much as I possibly can before I break. PLEASE NOTE: there are way too many I’s in that sentence. But it is the sad truth and I am stubborn to boot.
Sometimes GOD lets us make mistakes so that we are able to increase our faith and relationship with HIM to a deeper level. So, as my psi was increasing, I was continually adding more pressure and trying to stand alone, pushing everyone away and act the fool like I am going to do this MYSELF (I don’t need anyone)!
Fast forward…… me in an angels arms, sobbing horribly. Now for me that is a vulnerable spot to be in. You see, I handle everything and I NEVER let anyone believe that they can handle it without me. Yep, there I am with these perceived super hero shoulders…. And again I say NOT!!!!! Thank JESUS that he puts those angels in the right place at the right time.
I learned that first when you allow yourself to become vulnerable you allow another person to minister (help) you. So by NOT doing that you not only deprive them of giving but you also act in pride. GOD wants us to be humble not prideful.
There are numerous verses through the BIBLE that speak to this. Such as:
Isaiah 66:2 Has not my hand made all these things, and so they came into being?" declares the LORD. "This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.
Romans 12:3: For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.
SO in closing, I ask GOD’s forgiveness for my prideful nature and I want to thank HIM for the willing heart to learn and to change my ways. I need to thank GOD for my friend Michelle, who was that angel for me today. I needed to weep, I needed to be held and told “everything is going to be ok”. And that is exactly what was provided. I thank GOD for giving JESUS who suffered on a cross willingly to take our sins. One of those sins is pride. I am going to work on this further with JESUS and I pray that humility will be easier got than my pride. In JESUS NAME! AMEN!