I discovered, or had an “aha” moment that I have issues with trust in such a way that when depending on others I get anxiety of being “let down” or that they will not “come through” for me. I am not even sure where it comes from and it really does not matter. What I HAVE learned is that GOD does NOT ever let me down. Sometimes, that anxiety sets in even in my relationship with GOD but I know that is only based on my past experiences. I have GOD’s promises and I have seen what is done in my life when I lean on HIM to show me that GOD does not let me down.

HE holds me, I feel it. When I envision my relationship with JESUS, I picture a safe little girl being protected and held by a big hand. Perhaps odd to some but it provides me with a visual and I am a very visual person. But that actually creates my relationship in my way with the LORD.

Just like our relationships with the various people are different, we each can have our own specific relationship to JESUS. It is totally amazing. IT is mine. My personal relationship with GOD; where I can talk about my innermost fears, secrets, shout with joy about my happiness and be held in the perfect peace that I can only get from HIM.

If you want to get closer to someone, you spend time with them. So I spend as much time as I can with GOD because I want to get closer. It is not that complicated. But I feel we all make it complicated. I allow the world to get in the way, but I usually realize that GOD is safer, more comfy and my ultimate protector.  I do not have to spend time worrying about the economy, world relations, taxes, healthcare….. I know that I am going to be just fine! That is a big WOW for someone who spent a good bit of her life feeling the opposite; someone who felt that she had to “do” it all so that she thought everything would be okay; someone who felt that the ball was going to drop at any moment, someone who was anxious depending on others, exhausted in trying to be, do and handle everything perfectly. 

I have peace, most of the time. I am now a warrior instead of a worrier. PRAISE JESUS!

How do you envision your relationship with GOD?

Have you ever said something or acted some sort of way and knew you probably should have kept your mouth shut. This unfortunately, happens to me more than I care to say. It is something I actually pray about. In a world where things run fast, our techie world where we can say things and it can be all over the place in a matter of seconds. Although I think social media has it’s right place, it can also damage relationships, reputations and self-image.

I pray EVERY day or at least I try when I remember to do so, that GOD remind me that my tongue can be a weapon. We are reminded of this all over the bible so there must be reason to be cautioned about it.

James 3:6 – the tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the part of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire and is itself set on fire by hell.

That is a strong verse. Basically we are warned….. to watch our tongue. If we walk around and complain all the time, we WILL become down and depressed. IF we speak words of hope and joy, we will experience more happiness and peace. This is proven. If you do not believe me, try it. Even if you feel sad, speak happy, smile and see what happens. I am sure you will see a transformation of the spirit.

Rather than jump (this is not easy, but practice brings progress) to spit out words that will hurt someone or yourself, be quiet OR speak words of peace, joy or say something nice.

That old saying: If you cannot say something nice, say nothing at all. It is truly a powerful statement.

GOD- I ask for forgiveness for areas where my mouth speaks before I think. I ask for your direction in the language that comes from my mouth. Let my words be used for YOUR glory LORD. Let me try each day and be better. In JESUS name, I pray….. AMEN!

GOD will never leave you! It is loud and clear in HIS word. It is one of HIS promises.

Deuteronomy 31:6 tells us to be strong and courageous. Do not fear, for the LORD GOD goes with you. HE will NOT LEAVE you or forsake you.

I have felt at times a lack of connection to GOD, if you will. My daughter once said to me a similar thing, that she does not always feel GOD strongly. The world often tries to separate us from GOD but it just will NOT happen. It is a promise from GOD that HE will not leave us.

Let’s face it; people leave us. We do something to piss someone off, they leave. A boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife cheats on another – the relationship is damaged and sometimes one will leave. We grow up where a parent is bogged down with a drug problem, or mental illness or a multitude of things; and they either leave physically or are just not attached emotionally……… the world calls this abandonment. BUT it does not matter cause even though your experience tells you that people leave…. GOD never leaves you.

We lose loved ones through death, some expected and some not….. But GOD does not leave you.

GOD sent JESUS so that we are assured that even sin and death do not separate us from HIM. Once again, HE does not leave us.

So, when we are told that GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE OR FORSAKE US…. He really means business.

Satan is there to make you “feel” or “think falsely” that GOD is not in a situation.  And frankly the closer you get to GOD, the stronger the evil one works to try and make you “feel” that GOD is not near.

What do you do? What does one do when this is occurring in our lives? (And I am pretty sure that we all suffer this at different junctures of our walk.)

1.      First thing I do is exclaim:

 “I am a child of GOD, the most high and nothing WILL or CAN ever separate me from my FATHER” Satan get thee behind me, I walk on you with my righteous foot and stamp you down where you belong” In JESUS name, leave me.”

2.      Read – Read the bible; read a daily meditation; sign up to get a meditation on your smart phone, computer or tablet. This act not only keeps the WORD in your head but it becomes ammo as well against any attack.

3.      Pray – This is a BIG one! No elaborate words needed here. Just do it. Just pray what is in your head and your heart and ask GOD to assist you. Remember, he WILL never leave you.

4.      Ask for Prayer – Believers shall uphold each other. GOD tells us to love each other. There is strength in numbers. This is evident in Mathew 18:20.

5.      Pray for someone else – Nothing like getting those “feelings” and negative thoughts and refocus them on someone else. Bonus: You are loving and helping another.

GOD promises us so many times throughout the BIBLE, new and Old Testament that HE will not leave us. From the beginning to the end. Read it, you will see. In John 6:37 there is a beautiful line that says it all:

“whoever comes to me, I will never cast out.”

AND that says it all folks. So not matter how you may feel, GOD’s got you, and HE is and has been there all along. You cannot shake HIM off, HE is with you. Once you accept HIM, you GOT him and HE has you.

NOW…. Have you accepted him? What do you have to lose? Who has your back? Open up and accept JESUS in and HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU. There is no-one in the world who will and can keep that promise.

As I sit here and pen this I am in pain. I deal with many chronic health issues. By the grace of GOD, they are mostly manageable but sometimes, the pain is pretty bad. I look around and see people whom I love and care about deal with illnesses, some curable, some not, and some terminal.

This is a tough one. Having faith through pain or having faith knowing that your end is coming too soon; or at least to us mortals, what is considered too soon can be challenging to say the least. All things and the operative word here is ALL –  
Romans 8:28 states that ALL things work together for the good of GOD for those love HIM. 
Yes, as hard as it may be to swallow, this includes sickness. GOD’s glory is always the ultimate goal. When Abraham was ready to sacrifice the son that he finally received from GOD at a ripe age of 100 after waiting and praying for a child to come; that was for the good of our LORD. Kudos to Abraham, I cannot say I would be able to do that. Forgive me JESUS.

When Joseph was thrown in the pit only to suffer many, many years – this was also GOD’s will and eventually Joseph was made a very important man in history and in his lifetime. GOD’s glory was revealed in all of this.

You want to talk about suffering – Let’s talk about Job, he lost everything including his health, his children, his riches……. Everything ! He held onto his faith and was restored and once again, GOD’s will and glory was the purpose.

GOD loves us and HE suffers with us; right before HE raises Lazarus from death, HE sees the people crying and it says in John 11:35, JESUS wept. HE hurts when we hurt.

Being sick is not something we do to ourselves, or a punishment for things we have done or not done. Sometimes it just “is”. We may not even know or understand the reason but HE does. GOD knows and it is all to bring HIM glory. Our sickness is temporary…. We are healed to perfection when we are risen and taken to JESUS’ arms.

God is not offended when we cry our hearts out to Him. GOD wants us to commune with HIM regarding our sicknesses, to request healing, and to share our hurt with HIM. Look at the Psalms! We can be brutally honest with GOD while still trusting in HIS goodness and faithfulness. We do not have to present ourselves in a gentle or specific way! We can be real! “GOD this hurts, please take this cup from me”. That is so legitimate. I cannot tell you how many times I have screamed in my head, GOD, I just cannot deal with this $%$&?!?!#$  !!!

The beauty of illness is this. IT brings you closer to the LORD more so than most people will experience. It is raw because we are needy. Pain creates that. Pain creates a reliance. IF we direct that to HIM, we WILL find peace. Draw nigh unto HIM and HE shall draw nigh unto you.

Finally, ask your fellow believers for prayer. Not only does it connect us but it also is commanded. We shall pray for each other. IT also keeps our eyes on others and GOD and less on ourselves. Try it, you will see you will get a reprieve from pain. Those few moments while we pray for others, we think a bit less about our current situation.

Keep your eyes upon JESUS – Psalm 16:8

I keep my eyes always on the LORD; with HIM at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Someday, we will understand. For now we have faith. Someday, we will have physical wholeness, for now we have faith. For now we may be facing physical death, but someday we will have a beautiful place to go where nothing but love, joy and happiness exists beyond any of our imaginations and we will be with GOD, forever and ever.

GOD knows. GOD knows everything. In that we are to find peace. But I know for me, I want to know everything. I want to see into the future. Just for minimal planning – what a great gift that would be. But the greater gift is in peace; the peace that GOD knows everything because GOD’s perfect plan in in place.

I need to learn to simply rest in that. Sometimes it comes fairly naturally and sometimes it is interrupted by my own doubts, fears and worry. GOD tells us not to worry but to keep our eyes on JESUS and leave all else to HIM.

I love my family and my life here. But I also know that I have a place where I will go that is going to be so indescribably magnificent and there is such peace in that as well. GOD promises us that he will never leave or forsake us. HE will always be our comforter and will keep us safe. GOD keeps his promises even when we sin and boy do we sin. We sin when we do not even realize we are sinning. JESUS is all about that. It is that JESUS walked to the cross and took on our sins so that we no longer live condemned lives but that we also know that we are not of this world but can still have peace and joy while occupying it.

SO I my crystal ball is JESUS and I will keep my eyes on HIM and no matter what this life brings, I got this. I got it through the mercy of my LORD. I thank GOD for this grace because without it I would be lost.

PEACE, JOY and LOVE – all gifts from GOD and fruits of the spirit. No need for fortune telling, crystal balls – just the ability to rest in my LORD. THAT is all I NEED.

Sometimes I wonder why on earth anyone would choose a faithless life. Life is a wonderful and miraculous journey filled with joy, tears, agony and fears. Life is supernatural. Things happen all around us that have no correlation or direct answers. Why?? Because there is something so much bigger than us and apes or the big bang theory or whatever one may think.

All that I am and all that I have comes directly from my maker. JESUS provides me a way to walk in this world to thrive…. Yep… not just survive but thrive! Thank GOD for free will and thank JESUS for providing us a path. Every day I am amazed at how things seemingly fall into place. Yet, I must admit that my “oh sh*t” response is still an occurrence for me but it is becoming less and less.

The more JESUS fills me, the better my life seems to get. Seems like a no-brainer to me. But I guess by the grace of GOD I get it. And I do not mean I “get something” (although I do) but I mean I understand it, I have faith. That is where it starts….. the “F” word… and it takes only a tiny tiny amount and a choice.

And a few conscious words:

JESUS, I ACCEPT YOU AS MY SAVIOR AND GIVE MY LIFE OVER TO YOU COMPLETELY!

That is the first step. Not too hard …….

Is life easier without GOD? I am not sure, but if there are those out there who read this, I want to know… is your life easier or better without GOD? Is it about being right? Because if JESUS means I am wrong, I do not want to be right!

Today…. I was faced with another challenge. It had to do with business again. This particular challenge is something that has been going on for over 4-5 years now. (Talk about GOD’s timing not our timing)
Today GOD answered this prayer and PRAISE JESUS. It was completely orchestrated for GOD’s purpose as everything is. We just need to remember that. Let go and LET GOD!

I pray every day for GOD to be in my work, my company, my co-workers. I am probably a bit inappropriate by today’s standards in my choice of words during work. I will tell my co-workers I will pray for them. I will mention, I have been praying for that. There are those that I work with that are not believers. I am probably a thorn in their side. But I am hoping that by GOD’s grace that thorn will bring forth fruit for GOD’s purpose.

GOD chose me and I accepted. PRAISE GOD and Thank you JESUS for giving me life. I know I will have more rough times ahead but I always know that joy shall come in the morning.

Someone reminded me of Psalm 30. It is one that probably should be read every day. Here is part of it:

Sing praises to the Lord, O you his saints,
    and give thanks to his holy name.
For his anger is but for a moment,
    and his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
    but joy comes with the morning

Who is it that you feel is a person not worthy? Who do you look differently at or or perhaps down to? We all do it? Most often it is us.... Mathew was a tax collector. He was looked down on. People revered him with disgust. JESUS called Mathew to follow HIM. Mathew put it all down and followed JESUS. JESUS had a meal with Mathew and many people like taxpayers; whom today we would equate as the bottom feeders of society. Who is that for you ? The lonely woman who sleeps around looking for love; the beggar on the corner; the angry man who hits his wife; the addict who robbed a store or ..... Is it you?? JESUS did not come to save the saved; he sat with those who needed him? Why? Because HE came to save us all from our sin, our shame.

I'm going to discuss a difficult subject to follow here ...... A little girl with a sparkle in her eye; filled with hope and wanting of love. She dreams with her big eyes and big heart. Perhaps she is someone you know? She is maybe 7 years old , maybe 12 but her innocence is taken; stolen and shakes her life at the core. She spends her life trying to compensate for it; perhaps she uses drugs; perhaps she gives so much of herself to others she dies a slow death inside or perhaps she destroys her inner and outer fiber- you may know this woman...... She could be sitting in a bar laughing and flirting; or the heroin addict abandoned on the side of the road or that perfect coiffed lady at church OR maybe it could be the writer of this blog or perhaps it is you? 

GOD is here to hold her, not to shame her! JESUS came to remove her sins not to judge her. The LORD loves her right where she is at all times. She is not alone! 

Like the leper, tax collector, and adulteress - JESUS invites us all in for a meal .... Leave your shame at the door - it is not yours to bear any longer. YOU are who the LORD loves most! GOD wants us humble so HE can work in us; it is the haughty  who judge others and think they sit above other people who separate themselves from the only true love. They think they do not need the LORD! They are the ones who JESUS most! They need prayers!

That little girl - 

she is going to be alright. Oh sure, her heart hurts, her flesh may be weakened- she struggles every day to keep it together but she LOVES HER LORD! And nothing will separate her from the love of GOD. She accepted HIM and gave her life over at 17 not even fully understanding why. That is HIS grace. That little girl.... She is going to be wonderful! The evil one - he comes knocking but she wears the SHEILD! She is a child of GOD! 

So, when you go down the path of looking at someone a certain way...... look beyond what you see..... That is what JESUS did. Try loving instead of hating - accepting instead of rebuking- hate the sin not the sinner, because you do not know what is there but JESUS does!

Thank you FATHER for holding me always even when I feel undeserving. Thank you JESUS for carrying me when I felt too shamed to walk. Thank you JESUS for revealing to me it is never too late to heal and never to late to forgive. Thank you JESUS for it all because it all does work to the good for those who are called by you and love you and thank you JESUS for loving a schmuck like me. 

 

(Mathew 9:9-13)