Which way do I go???????

Have you ever had a time in your life where you just hit a fork in the road and you just do not know what to do? And you play it over and over in your head, if I take Road A, this will happen and if I take Road B, this will happen. Sometimes it can be quite puzzling. And if you are anything like me, the “limbo” or “now knowing” creates anxiety. Sitting in the lull is very hard for me. GOD is definitely teaching me a lesson on being quiet and waiting. I am also being blessed with learning to trust JESUS more.

Talking is a great past-time and very easy to master. And with technology, we can talk all day long. We can text, talk on the phone, email, blog, Facebook, Tweet and well you get the point. But listening or just being quiet…… oyyyyy veyyyyy, that is so hard! Recently I left my phone at home. I was on my way to an important meeting. Don’t you know that I actually turned around and was late for that meeting to grab my phone. WHY??? Because I needed to have it near so that I could “converse”. GOD forbid I be disconnected from the world for a few minutes. And then I complain that I have no “me” time. But worst, I have no real GOD time.

I talk to GOD all day long. I like that I have that kind of relationship with my FATHER. And I truly believe that GOD wants us to be walking with him through the day. Not just a kneel by the bed at the end of the day or a blessing before we eat. It explains in the WORD that GOD wants ALL of us. And I really want and desire to give GOD all of me. That being said, I am human and fight to take some back here and there.

Back to my fork in the road. I heard GOD tell me he wanted me to take Road B but I wanted to stay on the comfortable Road A. Road A is what I knew and what felt good to me. Oh, yes there were some divots and holes in Road A that I did not like but was getting used to. But all I kept hearing was I need to take Road B. It was pretty clear. But I still restricted it. Not only because I thought I liked Road A better but because I also was not really sure if I was following what GOD wanted for me.

I meditated and talked to many mentors. I read the bible and many other readings like I normally do. And then I walked on my treadmill. And I have a hard time quieting my mind (any little thing derails me), so I started chanting “More of YOU and less of me”; over and over again.

GOD answered me. And don’t you know I was doubting it not because I was doubting GOD but because I doubted my ability and who I am in CHRIST. But the more I chanted, the clearer it became. But there was one more wrench that was thrown into my desire for obedience; temptation. A thing thrown in my path to push me again towards Road A. That was a hard one. But in obedience to JESUS, I am staying my course and Road B it will be for me.

Thank you JESUS for allowing me this lesson. I know this will be a lesson that I will probably need to learn again. But there is peace in knowing that I am being obedient to YOUR direction.

"To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul. O my God, I trust in You;
Let me not be ashamed; let not my enemies triumph over me...
Show me Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths.
Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation;
On You I wait all the day." Psalm 25:1-5