TOTAL Humble-tumble Day BUT GOD loves me anyway

Today, I felt like I was at the end of one of those automatic ball throwers ducking so as not to be hit by the darn balls. I sometimes, heck who am I fooling, I always tend to carry everyone’s problems on my shoulders. GOD must adore that, huh! What a humble tumble! That is what today was. It was a “get down off your high horse” kind of day. A day where I need to know I do not have all the answers. Yep, a humble tumble day.

The hardest learning point for me is humility. I want to be the one who has the answers, be the help, solver of the problems…. You can now get up off the floor laughing…

Would you like to know why I do this? Because I feel that if I can do and help:

1. I do not have to feel helpless, which is not a feeling I deal with very well.
   
   
2. I do not have to FEEL…… that is a big one.
   
   
3. CONTROL, the biggest illusion and delusion I possess.
   
   
4. I do not want to feel the suffering of others…. Oh that is the same as #2.
   
   

I cried today, sobbed like a baby with a bad tummy ache. My brain knows LET GO DENI, LET GOD!! But noooooooooooooooooo, I am a schmuck remember. I repeat what is my normal, which does not work but it is my normal. In the words of DR. Phil, “how is that working for ya?”

I do more “rinsing and repeating” in my life and realize I battle with that. I know that the evil one keeps me there but I also realize I have a CHOICE! I CAN call on the one who sustains me, instead of playing GOD, I can call GOD. Because overall, I know GOD is the perfect solution and I am a “mess-maker” without HIM. And all this and GOD loves me anyway….. WOW!!!

I am an ego centric schmuck with a GOD complex and I am admitting it to all my 2 readers BUT when I realize it, I REPENT and it is gone, just like that. JESUS erases it!

Humility…. A hard one for me, GOD teaches me and LOVES me in spite.

2 Chronicles 7:14 says a mouthful, I need to repeat it EVERY moment…

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

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