I do not like being sick. I feel helpless. Me and helpless, we do not get along so well. My mantra of Romans 8:28 reminds me that all things work for the good of GOD.
BUT I get frustrated and angry (WARNING: PITY ME PARTY coming) when I feel limited, and achy and just don’t think it is fair.
When I was a child I used to hear “Life is not fair” by my parents and when I was a parent I used to spew those same words to my kids. I gotta tell you; those words do not make anyone feel better. I probably should apologize a million times to my kids for even uttering that phrase once.
The reality of the issue is sometimes I am inconsolable and want to whine and bitch. Sometimes I just want to be all doom and gloom. Sure it serves no healthy or positive purpose that I can think of but either does a big chocolate cake and I like that as well. I guess as with the chocolate cake, the trick is moderation. I guess it is okay to just be miserable but it is not okay to stay miserable.
So, today I am inconsolable, miserable, and whiney. But I know that GOD is holding me like a father holds a child. I like the think that even though “life is not fair” GOD does not tell me that, instead… I think I hear “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. ” (Isaiah 41:10, ESV)- GOD’S way of saying, everything is going to be ok.
PRAYER: DEAR GOD, thank you that I do not have to “be some way” for you to love me. I can be sad and you will lift me, I can be frustrated and you will sustain me, I can be unlovable- BUT you still love me. Thank you JESUS for giving me what I do not deserve. In JESUS name I pray, AMEN
I am Deni, short for Denise. I grew up in a Jewish home, in a Jewish neighborhood and a Jewish family. In 3rd grade we moved. We moved to a mostly non-Jewish area.... that is where JESUS found me. I say found me because I yet had not acknowledged it, but would find out later.......by grace, HE HELD ME ALL ALONG, just a lil Jewish girl from Philly.