I discovered, or had an “aha” moment that I have issues with trust in such a way that when depending on others I get anxiety of being “let down” or that they will not “come through” for me. I am not even sure where it comes from and it really does not matter. What I HAVE learned is that GOD does NOT ever let me down. Sometimes, that anxiety sets in even in my relationship with GOD but I know that is only based on my past experiences. I have GOD’s promises and I have seen what is done in my life when I lean on HIM to show me that GOD does not let me down.
HE holds me, I feel it. When I envision my relationship with JESUS, I picture a safe little girl being protected and held by a big hand. Perhaps odd to some but it provides me with a visual and I am a very visual person. But that actually creates my relationship in my way with the LORD.
Just like our relationships with the various people are different, we each can have our own specific relationship to JESUS. It is totally amazing. IT is mine. My personal relationship with GOD; where I can talk about my innermost fears, secrets, shout with joy about my happiness and be held in the perfect peace that I can only get from HIM.
If you want to get closer to someone, you spend time with them. So I spend as much time as I can with GOD because I want to get closer. It is not that complicated. But I feel we all make it complicated. I allow the world to get in the way, but I usually realize that GOD is safer, more comfy and my ultimate protector. I do not have to spend time worrying about the economy, world relations, taxes, healthcare….. I know that I am going to be just fine! That is a big WOW for someone who spent a good bit of her life feeling the opposite; someone who felt that she had to “do” it all so that she thought everything would be okay; someone who felt that the ball was going to drop at any moment, someone who was anxious depending on others, exhausted in trying to be, do and handle everything perfectly.
I have peace, most of the time. I am now a warrior instead of a worrier. PRAISE JESUS!
How do you envision your relationship with GOD?
I am Deni, short for Denise. I grew up in a Jewish home, in a Jewish neighborhood and a Jewish family. In 3rd grade we moved. We moved to a mostly non-Jewish area.... that is where JESUS found me. I say found me because I yet had not acknowledged it, but would find out later.......by grace, HE HELD ME ALL ALONG, just a lil Jewish girl from Philly.