A glimpse into the evil heart is not pretty. From it comes hurtful actions, gossip, laughing at another’s misgivings, caving into ungodly desires, immorality, deviate behavior, stealing, deception, lies, and the list goes on. I will admit something here that may be shocking. That is me. Frankly, that is all of us. We are all capable of an evil heart. Sin produces the evil.
I love JESUS and my life is HIS. I consider myself pretty devoted to GOD. I pray, worship and relate to HIM throughout each day some days more than others. I learn and read as much as I can. Nevertheless, a sinner I am still. That will not change. The only change is that I am a forgiven sinner and this by grace.
Today I exhibited behavior that I am not proud of. The conviction of my heart in this was strong and I had to repent. Seeing this behavior was difficult. At first, I wanted to deny it. After, I gave justification a whirl. Finally, I had to see the truth and repentance was the final answer. Someone I used to know and who hurt me was caught in a compromising position. I laughed and poked fun and even felt a sense of satisfaction at this person’s self-destructive behavior. Then I noticed something happen. I started to feel bad. It was not so humorous anymore. I began to realize that because this individual is lost, he is drowning in secrets, lies and horrid behavior. Me laughing at that horrid behavior is no better than the depraved conduct of this person.
I will not assume that everyone is like this but I will express that many of us are. We all sin on some level. When I think back to before CHRIST, I think it to be amazing that to rid oneself of wrong-doing included really difficult rituals. The law was almost impossible to adhere to then. WE needed CHRIST and GOD knew this.
We wage a battle inside of good and evil. Thank GOD that through CHRIST I am saved. I have GOD’s forgiveness even when I slip into a foul and malicious mindset. The urge for evil is real. And to lessen its effect, we must plunge ourselves into GOD’s grace and glory. I know this is just an example of where I fall. There are times when I am not even aware of it. If I weren’t a child of CHRIST and saved by the cross, I do not know where I would be. I shudder to even think of it.
It is astounding to realize that in the eyes of the LORD, I am wiped clean and my sins blotted out. All because my FATHER loved me. Not because I did anything! Simply because HE loved me first!
I am Deni, short for Denise. I grew up in a Jewish home, in a Jewish neighborhood and a Jewish family. In 3rd grade we moved. We moved to a mostly non-Jewish area.... that is where JESUS found me. I say found me because I yet had not acknowledged it, but would find out later.......by grace, HE HELD ME ALL ALONG, just a lil Jewish girl from Philly.