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I am no one special other than special enough that GOD loves me
- ordinary, neurotic at times, loving, angry, Sometimes forgiving,
can be judgmental, worried, fearful, sometimes smart, mistake-ridden
​imperfect me! 

And if GOD loves me in spite.. HE certainly loves us all!

What you can’t forgive you become

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Forgiving can be so difficult but so necessary!

I heard something that was shocking. “What you don’t forgive you become”

Not forgiving is tying yourself to the offense or perceived offense.

Life has triggers all around us to try and have us hold on to not forgiving rather than the forgiveness of CHRIST.

I was a victim of child sexual abuse. For the longest time, I not only had hate for the offender but also myself.

It was not until I let it go. And forgave, that I too was able to receive forgiveness.

GOD forgave so much!

Chance after chance we were given. And we failed. And the LORD gave us JESUS, HIS beloved born son to be sacrificed. All so we no longer had to wear our inequities. We no longer became our shame.

JESUS was spat on, whipped, mocked and in the worst physical pain. Yet, HE stood in the gap of HIS offenders and asked the FATHER to forgive them. Yes, forgive those who were persecuting HIM!

When someone hurts me, the last thing I think of is praying to the FATHER for them that hurt me. I, instead walk about with anger tattooed upon my soul. Ripping peace from my heart.

So, who is this hurting? My offender? Ummmmm, no!

LORD, help me forgive today. Help me to let it go! Forgive me, FATHER for those things I do that hurt others. Teach me LORD to love like YOU do. Break my heart for what breaks YOURS. Show me to lay it down and pray for those that hurt me. Release me LORD from any bitterness, anger and resentment that I am holding. Amen!

#ThankYOUJESUS❤️

Writer’s block or Not

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I am sitting here at a loss of what to write this morning.

I was awakened at 4 AM, couldn’t sleep. I was still tired and tried to go back to sleep.

Going back to sleep seemed to be a fight.

I started praising GOD.

Something a bit disturbing occurred. I had trouble finding words.

Perhaps, the tired in my mind - not sure! However, it bothered me. And off I went on a tangent, (in my own mind) on how terrible I am that I cannot even focus enough to give the LORD my full.

Eventually, the fatigue took me adrift and I fell back asleep.

I woke up about an hour later, feeling “off”.

I read the verse about how Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy.

Lately, it does seem that I may be under a bit of an attack. I say “bit” because in my heart of hearts, (much better than my mind), I AM the daughter of a KING and the winning has been done! I have victory “And I am convinced that nothing will ever separate me from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither my fears for today nor my worries about tomorrow--not even the powers of hell can separate me from God's love.

And certainly not a bout of poor focus!

So, the beating up of myself stopped.... and I instead picked up my cloak of the LORD’s love.

And look at that.... the words flowed out whilst in the middle of a writer’s block! JESUS always wins!

#ThankYOUJESUS ❤️

Today IS a New Day

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​Today, I will put my shame away!


Today, I will stomp out what tries to drag me down!

​Today, I will rise! I am not who I was yesterday!

I am not who I was even but a moment ago!

GOD’S mercy and grace provide renewal. Each and every morning.

So why? Why do I hold on to the shame and guilt of yesterday?

No more! JESUS shed HIS blood for me so that I am washed clean. I accept HIS love and then repent.

Repent of all I have done that I know of, and that even I may not be aware of!

I am covered! And those things behind me are gone!!

Time to put it down! Let it go! Brushing off the title of victim.

Today, I will assume my rightful title of warrior and victor!

Yep, today....

#ThankYOUJESUS ❤️

12/6/2018 1 Comment

LORD LEAD ME TO HELP THE HELPLESS

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ast night I watched the movie “Machine Gun Preacher”. 

And it moved me. I felt it strong, almost overwhelmingly, in my heart. 

How blessed are the poorest in the United States. It’s true. Even knowing that we have horrid happenings all around us in our own backyard. 

However, my eyes have been opened to the reality that our “horrid” is pale in comparison to the evil that exists, right now in the world around us.

I grew up in a Jewish home. Before my grandfather dwindled away from Alzheimer’s, I remember the tales he told of the Holocaust. They didn’t seem real to me. Just like I was reading a fictional tale. 

However, that kind of evil was a reality back then and still exists today.

We can ask why. We can sit in the comfort of our homes and watch the news, movies or see stories on social media. 

However. Are. We. Feeling. It.?

Have we shut down so much that part of our soul is dead, so as not to “deal”.?

I. Did.

Until, I saw a movie about a warrior of CHRIST in today’s world fighting against the evil that exists. Protecting and defending. 

Schindler, even after saving over 1100 Jews said “I could have got more out. I could have got more. I don't know. If I'd just... I could have got more.”

Yet, here I am giving a bit here or a little there. Never extending myself beyond comfort. 

Here are warriors, ridding themselves of their own “stuff” to save! Even at the cost of their own lives!

Why?

Because their hearts hurt! 

So often, I shut down that part of my heart because I am over sensitive. And when I see others in pain, I feel the pain. My first reaction - avoid the pain - ignore what’s happening! 

And this is to rid myself of my own discomfort😐.

Last night I felt that the discomfort. The pain deep within, over children, little tiny kids being tortured and forced to do unspeakable acts, was staring at me- blatantly in my face!

I sat in it. I asked the LORD - FATHER lead me.... 

I don’t know what or where the LORD is taking me on this journey. Perhaps, my sword is the words I plunk down on paper. Maybe it is mission time for me. Or, it may be time to pony up the bucks in faith without worrying about tomorrow. Because tomorrow always takes care of itself!

Look around you. If you are so blessed to have a cushion in your savings account - bills paid - roof over head, you are still breathing! Or any microcosm of the above - you, my friend are beyond blessed! Thank the good LORD for it all! 

If you have a doctors office to go to. Where there are seats in a waiting room. Even with the complaints of waiting, paperwork issues-consider yourself blessed!

Because...

Somewhere in this world, lays a child... just blown to pieces by a hidden bomb as he was chasing a dog. That is the reality in many places in the world around us. No sterile hospital. Not even anything to help with his pain. War and darkness surrounding a little innocent child! 

We all have some type of means to assist someone. We all have a gift, perhaps untapped to bring joy. We all have something that the LORD provided us to give to the world. To save souls! To help the children. 

As I sit here on my beat up old couch that often brings me embarrassment because it’s not “like the Jones” - I suddenly don’t give a rats poop!

1 John 2:15 says “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him”

All I can say after rambling on, is this: FATHER break my heart for what breaks yours and then order my steps LORD solely for YOU! 

#ThankYOUJESUS ❤️
​Want
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Want to Donate to Sam Childer's
(Machine Gun Preacher) effort
to help the helpless? DONATE HERE
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12/5/2018 0 Comments

3 Must’s to Free You From the Siege of Sadness

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The LORD says in Isaiah “MY thoughts are not your thoughts”.
That alone for me is a saving grace.
In the war-field of my brain - arrows of negative thinking try to take over. Weapons of thought destruction evade the space between my ears.
As a result, in the time of a snap of a finger- I can go from happy to sad. Full of positivity to negative. Full of hope and faith to fear and doubt.
Psalm 34:6 is such an amazing and powerful sentence. The empty (poor in spirit) man cried to the LORD (LORD, help me) and the LORD heard him and saved him. (Para)
We have that connection! We can tap into that.

I mean does that not blow you away? Is it not amazing?

Now, this don’t mean that you cry out to the LORD and say I need mo’ money!
No this is a heart cry. When you are hurting. When your thoughts become dismal, or you are heart-broken...

Our FATHER hears your cry. Loud and clear. And HE wants to deliver you. Keep on crying out to HIM who delivers!

Brooding or staying in that muddy mood; or worse, making it an advertisement on social media, calling and complaining our friends- those things don’t do a thing. Well, perhaps they do. They keep you stuck in the rut.

Asking for prayer - that’s a great tool! Repeating a comforting verse... you are getting there!
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Top it off; cry out to the LORD and thank HIM for delivering you from the hands of the negativity that is binding you! Now, that will release you. That will set you free!
3 Must-do’s to free you up from that siege of sadness:
1. Ask for back-up (prayer)
2. Cry out to the LORD
3. Sing praises to GOD for your deliverance
It’s not hokey or magic! It’s the real deal! It works!
I know first hand.... why? for me it is sometimes a daily doing!
However, I am a warrior who NEVER battles alone when I cry out to the LORD!
Today’s plan: Make your battle cry to the LORD!
#ThankYOUJESUS ❤️

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12/4/2018 0 Comments

WALK HUMBLY - LOVE MUCH

Reading through the book of Micah, and seeing the unfair and unjust way the “government” treated its people reminds me of much the same that is going on in the world around us.
Perhaps not always by the Government. People being treated badly is not anything new. It has been going on since the beginning.
It hurts my heart when I see on the news of people being hurt, tortured and killed. I abhor hearing the bullying that exists and is growing daily in our very own schools where our children go to learn.
Or kids being beaten in their homes. And as a result, often that abuse just rolls out a child who will commit abuse. The whole “hurt people hurt people” theory.
I came upon this verse in Micah: “GOD has already made it plain how to live, what to do,
and what God is looking for in men and women. It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don’t take yourself too seriously-take God seriously. “
What if we all seriously taught that to our kids each day? What if it was ingrained in each of us?
Bringing up kids in the way of the LORD is a solution.
Not just creating kids who can parrot verses in a bible.... but rather, really living out the heart of the book of LIFE! Can you imagine the game changer this would be?
But, it will not happen here on earth. Peace love and joy will always be roadblocked by the evil that exists in this world!
And I thank GOD that JESUS has overcome this world, right?!?!
How’er, that is where we can do our best to fulfill Micah 6:8 and furthermore Luke 6:27-31, Proverbs 24:17, Romans 12:20
And boy oh boy does that list go on!
And practicing love like this in front of others.... truly shows the love of CHRIST.
Loving, even the one who has done the worst. Loving can be a simple prayer to GOD on an enemy’s behalf.
Yet, I fail daily. I get mad. Angry at the things I don’t agree with. Fuming when I see a loved one treated bad. Thinking evil thoughts against those who trespass against me.
But! I have JESUS. And I can try again! With HIM! To love!
#ThankYOUJESUS ❤️
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12/3/2018 0 Comments

LORD, I am Tired

I understand that I am in a fight. I get it that this fight is not against human foes.
What I need to hold on to is this: no matter how insidious the darkness that comes against me may be; when I stand with JESUS; when I suit up with faith, when I wrap my head completely in truth and stand on the un-moveable and solid ground of the LORD- I am winning! Always!
Sure, there are the days and moments where life happens. Oh and some of those times are strewn with hardship and challenges. And spotted with failures and mistakes.
But we will emerge wiser and stronger. We learn to lean NOT on what we are seeing!
All around me are tough tasks, and those I love so much, suffering with health, financial downfalls, sadness and drug addiction.
Last night I watched as my son from China, Alex crumbled under the pressure he places on himself. And while he cried, I also wept inside. I know that exhaustion all too well!
I become tired, weak and my strength wavers.
What to do?
So, I prayed with Alex and then asked the LORD, where FATHER does my help come from? How LORD do I make it through? And my answer is clear.
I pray, but not the usual prayer. It is not bathed in the whys and the cries of self-pity. Instead, I resolve. Rest, if you will. But.... I rest in HIS will not mine!
GOD does have a plan that will prosper us, even though it may look like HE may not. I stand on the fact that GOD does know better! GOD only has our best in HIS hands.
So, that IS where our help comes from. That IS what we stand upon.
I know that things may not always look like the healing is happening or the chaos is coming to a peaceful end..... but we need to 
- believe! 
- trust!
- rest!
And therefore we can- no we will! have peace in our hearts and souls that all is well!
Thank YOU JESUS, amen ♥️
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    I am Deni, short for Denise. I grew up in a Jewish home, in a Jewish neighborhood and a Jewish family. In 3rd grade we moved. We moved to a mostly non-Jewish area.... that is where JESUS found me. I say found me because I yet had not acknowledged it, but would find out later.......by grace, HE HELD ME ALL ALONG, just a lil Jewish girl from Philly.

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