I have been told that I am “annoying” with my rants and raves about my faith. Although I do not mean to be annoying…. I cannot help but stir up your spirit. WHY?

Well, let’s look at it this way. I have traveled through my life and have endured many emotional, physical and spiritual torments. And along this path I am on, I was given many gifts.

1. Gift numero one is a bright and shiny gift called joy. Not just joy in those times that would ordinarily bring joy but joy in ALL times.
   
   
2. This brings me to my other gift: unconditional love. So many times we look for love in all the wrong places. How, that gets us in such trouble. Often those places, that kind of love and acceptance, comes with major strings attached. The gift of love I have is free and clear.
   
   
3. And I receive forgiveness, now that is a special gift. I am forgiven no matter how I may behave, or whether I have made a mistake or not; even when I carry my own shame and guilt like a 10 ton bag. As soon as I repent and ask for forgiveness, it is done; slate clean. In the world forgiveness generally goes as far as ones memory. GOD’s forgiveness is cleansing and relieving.
   
   
4. And one more gift I get…. Freedom from death. I do not have to worry about the trivialities of this world because I have faith that I am going to live on in a beautiful place that cannot be described by words.
   
   

Why wouldn’t I be annoying? Why wouldn’t I want to share my gifts with those I love and care about. Let me ask you this? What you are doing- what you believe in; how is that working for you? Are YOU free? Are you feeling loved? Are you feeling good about your life?

Do I have sadness, SURE, I am human, BUT I have sunlight in the morning. DO I screw up, SURE, I am human but my REDEEMER gives me an eraser so that I do not have to carry that wrong forever. Do I suffer? SURE, I am human, but my suffering is temporary, for I have endurance from GOD who gives me strength in all things!

I have bills, worries, job stress, physical illnesses, pain, loneliness, and all the other array of crap that is thrown at all of us every day. BUT I have joy in the morning. Do you know what that means? I truly have already overcome ALL OF IT! I may have a fleeting moment where I wallow, whine, scream and cry, then I remember that GOD gives me all of these gifts and more.

So I will continue to be annoying, and I will not apologize. I am happy and excited. If you are a car buff and someone gave you the best car in the world, you would be bragging all over town about it. If you won the lottery, you would be all over social media about it and screaming off the rooftops. If you beat the new Xbox game after months of play, you would be feeling accomplished and happy. And then it will get old and that would be the end of that. BUT my gift never gets old, it is the gift that keeps on giving!

 

Remembering in Hebrew school I remember that learning the language of Hebrew was more important than the theology of why I was attending. As I read about the heroes of the Old Testament, I see a common theme. Abraham, Moses and the many others had faith at all times. Not just in the good times but in the trying times.

This has impacted me because I think it is easier for me to have faith in the trying times. It is in those difficult days when I tend to scream out for JESUS more. However, when things are going smoothly, I tend to go along with the flow and instead of focusing on GOD; HE becomes more of a fleeting thought. And then something happens that disrupts my calm and I run screaming and crying to my FATHER. And there he is with open arms welcoming me “in spite”. That is LOVE, pure unconditional love.

Am I the only one who feels how amazing that is? Abraham knew it…. He was ready to sacrifice his own son for the love of GOD. Moses led very whiny and ungrateful people into their land only to be left out of that glorious day; all in faith to GOD. AND me????? I freak out if I am short by the end of a pay-period, have a hard day at work or my illness acts up. I couldn’t do it, I could not sacrifice ANY of my kids. I admit it and I am sorry I fall short of that perfection…..BUT GOD LOVES ME ANYWAY!!!!!

Just WOW!!

GOD, how selfish I am and how sorry I am that I do not keep you in the most forefront of my brain, my heart and my life. I am so accepted by you no matter what! The world does not always accept me, my friends do not always accept me, my family does not always accept me BUT YOU LORD, always do.

 

A farmer became discouraged with his farm, he began to look at it as unsightly and negatively. This farmer made a decision to sell his farm and contacted a real estate agent. The agent gathered all of the paperwork and some pictures with ad copy for the farmer to approve and sign. While looking through he was surprised to see the advertisement which read as follows:

Lovely property overlooking fenced pastures, beautiful mountain and lake views offers a stately stone home built in the early 1800’s with many improvements while still capturing the old-time charm.

The pictures and advertisement went on to further detail the farmer’s property. After reading through and looking at the pictures, the farmer stopped and looked at the realtor and said “I cannot sell this beautiful property” and decided to keep his farm.

POINT: There are many points here. First, living in the same house, working at the same job and perhaps being married to the same spouse can be mundane over time. Perhaps looking at things differently also changes one’s perspective. Secondly, blessings……. Often we lose sight of our blessings which could very well be the ordinary of the day to day but blessings they remain.

Sure, work can be stressful, the house is in need of repairs, the apartment is too small, the kids driving you crazy, and the husband barely notices you. But regardless, they may not be perfect and even frustrating at times, BUT you have them. Somewhere there is someone who does not have a job, no roof over their head, a woman who is having trouble conceiving children and lonely individuals looking mightily for that mate.

Lately, I have been whining and bitching about not feeling well. Truthfully, today it is an annoyance. Last year at this time, not feeling well for me was much worse. I know that there are people that suffer from diseases like mine that struggle every day to breathe, be pain-free or be mobile. I think it is time I thank GOD for my blessings and pray for those that suffer.

I have heard another popular saying, “I cried because I had no shoes until I met someone who had no feet”

It really is all in how you view things, either as the farmer who saw his farm as ugly and cumbersome or the realtor who saw a beautiful gem. What is your view?

I want to talk about anger, why because I am ANGRY. Much of this anger comes from the frustration of not being “in” or “able” to control situations and yes, even people. But I do not know why I think so highly of myself?? Do I really think I am going to have the solution to it ALL? And if I do, that is a dangerous game, isn’t it?

I continue to hit my head against this proverbial wall. My head should look like a bumpy mess about now. There are those in my life, most from my past that can unravel me in a moment’s notice. That anger I speak of isn’t that annoying kind, it is that heated variety that you can feel rising from below.

Thank GOD for a loving GOD that does NOT measure me how I measure others. Wouldn’t that be scary???

BUT, I am getting a teensy weensy better. I remember to pray way sooner than I used to. I remember that GOD will handle this and it will all work out.

Romans:18-20
 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. 19Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord. 20"BUT IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM, AND IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD."…

PRAYER: JESUS, for me and whomever may be reading this that may have that rising anger inside: Please FATHER quiet that storm, help us to get to YOU before we act out in it. Whatever or whomever brings this surge of emotion in us JESUS, be there in the situation or with that someone. I would like to pray LORD for the anger and your forgiveness BUT also FATHER for anyone who may be the target of the anger, whether we believe they deserve it or not. IN JESUS name I pray, AMEN. Thank you JESUS for giving me what I do not deserve!

The façade, we all present it. The thing is GOD knows our heart. Even better, is HE loves us anyway. Truthfully, if we would all take a look into our hearts, we probably could not even deal with what we are covering.

It is so hard for me to fathom the size of the love GOD has for me. It seems to be a human affliction.  I try so hard sometimes to put up a front of strength when in reality, I am falling apart inside. TRUTH!!! I am lonely, scared and sometimes I get really pissed off! Does this mean I am less “GODLY”? I heard it said once that it is in the darkest night that the stars shine the brightest. I believe that is how GOD works through us. It is when we are weak and in need, we are open – our hearts open and we can allow true GODLY strength to live within us.

I am broken. It is okay though. I can be broken and still receive GOD’S love. GOD loved me before I even was; that is so hard for me to imagine sometimes.

Truly, we would NOT want to see what is in each other’s hearts. It probably would scare the crap out of all of us. The reality is that THAT is our battle! I was baptized by water at 17, but let’s face it…. that actually started the real battle; the battle for my heart. BUT.. I now have JESUS protecting my heart against evil. WHY? Because that is why he came! He came so that not only would I be forgiven when I give into that evil in my heart BUT also to help me and protect me against it.

I am a child of GOD and I am broken!!! BUT HE still loves me so!!! Whomever believes that they are broken are open to receive GOD. Are you tied to believing that the best house, power of a job, how much money you have, or “how you have it together” brings you a security?? It is a LIE!! Those things play like idols in our lives, they consume our very heart and soul so that we are slaves. I get scared that I may not have the financial security I have today; or I will let those that depend on me down. I fight that idolatry each and every day, sometimes each and every moment. I have to repeat to myself that IT IS ALL ABOUT JESUS and not about me or anyone or anything else! Silly me, there is such freedom in that but how easy I fall back into “my pattern”.

I AM BROKEN….. JESUS LOVES ME SO! YES JESUS LOVES ME……….