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I am no one special other than special enough that GOD loves me
- ordinary, neurotic at times, loving, angry, Sometimes forgiving,
can be judgmental, worried, fearful, sometimes smart, mistake-ridden
​imperfect me! 

And if GOD loves me in spite.. HE certainly loves us all!

What you can’t forgive you become

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Forgiving can be so difficult but so necessary!

I heard something that was shocking. “What you don’t forgive you become”

Not forgiving is tying yourself to the offense or perceived offense.

Life has triggers all around us to try and have us hold on to not forgiving rather than the forgiveness of CHRIST.

I was a victim of child sexual abuse. For the longest time, I not only had hate for the offender but also myself.

It was not until I let it go. And forgave, that I too was able to receive forgiveness.

GOD forgave so much!

Chance after chance we were given. And we failed. And the LORD gave us JESUS, HIS beloved born son to be sacrificed. All so we no longer had to wear our inequities. We no longer became our shame.

JESUS was spat on, whipped, mocked and in the worst physical pain. Yet, HE stood in the gap of HIS offenders and asked the FATHER to forgive them. Yes, forgive those who were persecuting HIM!

When someone hurts me, the last thing I think of is praying to the FATHER for them that hurt me. I, instead walk about with anger tattooed upon my soul. Ripping peace from my heart.

So, who is this hurting? My offender? Ummmmm, no!

LORD, help me forgive today. Help me to let it go! Forgive me, FATHER for those things I do that hurt others. Teach me LORD to love like YOU do. Break my heart for what breaks YOURS. Show me to lay it down and pray for those that hurt me. Release me LORD from any bitterness, anger and resentment that I am holding. Amen!

#ThankYOUJESUS❤️

Writer’s block or Not

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I am sitting here at a loss of what to write this morning.

I was awakened at 4 AM, couldn’t sleep. I was still tired and tried to go back to sleep.

Going back to sleep seemed to be a fight.

I started praising GOD.

Something a bit disturbing occurred. I had trouble finding words.

Perhaps, the tired in my mind - not sure! However, it bothered me. And off I went on a tangent, (in my own mind) on how terrible I am that I cannot even focus enough to give the LORD my full.

Eventually, the fatigue took me adrift and I fell back asleep.

I woke up about an hour later, feeling “off”.

I read the verse about how Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy.

Lately, it does seem that I may be under a bit of an attack. I say “bit” because in my heart of hearts, (much better than my mind), I AM the daughter of a KING and the winning has been done! I have victory “And I am convinced that nothing will ever separate me from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither my fears for today nor my worries about tomorrow--not even the powers of hell can separate me from God's love.

And certainly not a bout of poor focus!

So, the beating up of myself stopped.... and I instead picked up my cloak of the LORD’s love.

And look at that.... the words flowed out whilst in the middle of a writer’s block! JESUS always wins!

#ThankYOUJESUS ❤️

Today IS a New Day

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​Today, I will put my shame away!


Today, I will stomp out what tries to drag me down!

​Today, I will rise! I am not who I was yesterday!

I am not who I was even but a moment ago!

GOD’S mercy and grace provide renewal. Each and every morning.

So why? Why do I hold on to the shame and guilt of yesterday?

No more! JESUS shed HIS blood for me so that I am washed clean. I accept HIS love and then repent.

Repent of all I have done that I know of, and that even I may not be aware of!

I am covered! And those things behind me are gone!!

Time to put it down! Let it go! Brushing off the title of victim.

Today, I will assume my rightful title of warrior and victor!

Yep, today....

#ThankYOUJESUS ❤️

7/30/2014 0 Comments

OYYYYY! VEYYY! What a name!

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I must talk a bit about the name of this blog… “schmuck like me”.  I grew up in a home where my grandparents would talk in Yiddish. It is a funny language and I got to know several words. It seems to be a dying language, I used to hear it much more as a young child, rarely these days. I have come to know that a schmuck meant an “idiot”. I am aware that there is another meaning but for all intents and purposes of this blog, let’s say that it means “idiot”.

When I am referring to myself as a schmuck, I kind of mean it in a good way. Hear me out before you pre-judge. In the world around us, there is so much pressure to “be”. We are told we must be good, be polite, be honest, be on time, be prepared and the list goes on….

In the Old Testament of the Bible, we had a lot of “be’s”. And if there were wrongs, there were procedures we followed to “be” (there is that word again) forgiven and back in the good graces of GOD.

Then JESUS came to us to save us from having to “be”. The “be” became “believe”. So we now just have to “believe” that HE came and was crucified for US (all of us) and we are saved. We ALL make mistakes and we ALL are schmucks. None of us are perfect and none of us have to BE! We just have to have faith, that is it…. No strings attached. What freedom in being a schmuck! I can be a schmuck and my GOD still loves me, protects me and blesses me beyond imagine.

PRAYER: Dear GOD, help the reader understand that we are not perfect but loved, not without mistakes but saved and all we need is to BElieve in the glory of the gift we have in YOUR precious SON who gave HIS last breath so that we can just BE who we are and still be loved and saved! In JESUS glorious name, AMEN! And thank you JESUS for giving me what I do not deserve!


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7/28/2014 0 Comments

SHUSH!!!!! and LISTEN!!

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I can talk! I post on social media, write this blog and probably talk way more than I should in most circumstances. I think from an early age, I thought that talking was good. It meant that I “knew” about something; I was smart and the ultimate- had someone’s attention. But better than talking, is listening and by far much harder to do.

I am trusting the LORD to teach me and boy am I learning that sometimes it is better to keep my mouth shut and just listen. One of the hardest tasks for me is listening to someone who may have a need. I am drawn to “needs” like a baby to candy. For me, fixing a need equals providing advice. I know I am in good company of the “advice givers”, we are a well-meaning bunch (most of us and most of the time) but sometimes in the desire to provide guidance, we forget to listen. Much of the time listening is so much more helpful than speaking.

I will be honest to tell you that I had to learn to listen. I am still learning.  I am a bit embarrassed also to say, I have to be real cognizant of this and really hone in on the speaker. I am getting better. It is a constant prayer of mine.

The power of listening is so powerful. Hearing the person, acknowledging what is heard and perhaps a smile/hug or even a laugh together. That is real intimacy! Get your mind out of the gutter, not meaning that kind!!!

GOD wants us to relate to HIM! There is talk of worship and prayer all over the bible. But there is also talk of listening.

Proverbs 18:2 A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion

Psalm 141:3 Set a guard, O LORD over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!

Psalm 85:8 I will listen to what GOD the LORD says; he promises peace to HIS people, his faithful servants. But let them not return to their foolish ways.


PRAYER: DEAR LORD, I ask that you help me to open my ears wider than my mouth. Help me FATHER to hear YOU more and sit quietly in you. Be with the reader JESUS and provide them peace and wisdom; in JESUS blessed name. And thank you JESUS for giving me what I do not deserve!

 


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7/27/2014 0 Comments

JESUS OH JESUS

Raised in a Jewish home and not a strict Jewish home but simply known as “Jewish” apparently meant something in the Jewish community. I had cousins that grew up in homes where being Jewish meant something such as what they could eat and what they could not. OF course this is the biggest impact and memory of being Jewish was to me.

There were the big family holidays such as Passover and Yom Kippur….. always having something to do with food during or after. I did not realize the true meaning of Yom Kippur until much later. And that one fasted to atone for sins.

When I praise JESUS, my path was paved with difficulty because this is not what a Jewish girl did. I am not sure what my parents thought about JESUS himself as I was growing up but it was a name that the “gentiles” used and I remember a feeling that we were separated from the gentiles.

I also remember that it hurt my heart that we were “separated” form anyone. GOD puts JESUS in all of our hearts. It is what we do that matters. So, bring me to today where I gladly rejoice and praise HIM.

There is a saying that is used in the world of recovery from addictions: “Act as if”. The idea was that if you would “act as if” then your mind, body and spirit would follow.

I had to “act as if” for many years waning back and forth on the subject of JESUS. But by the grace of HIM, he held on to me because I “acted as if” because I wanted HIM so.

NOW, I AM HIS and I PRAISE his HOLY name that I am. We are released by HIM who died for us and removed our sins. And let me tell you, I battle everyday with sinning. We all do but GOD loved us so that he gave us his only begotten son. PRAISE GOD

PRAYER: Dear FATHER, Thank you for saving me and putting JESUS in my heart and soul so strong that even my background could not deny HIM. I pray for the reader and that they may know the release from bondage JESUS brings even for a JEWISH girl like me. AND thank you JESUS for giving me what I do not deserve!

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7/26/2014 0 Comments

THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT?????

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Turn on the news or any of your media fav and you will see horrid stories. Unrest in Israel, Palestine, Russia and the Ukraine; our eco system providing very unstable weather; murders, kidnapping, and unspeakable acts of terror; these all can leave us fearful and thinking or even jesting that “the end of the world is near”.

I used to get wrapped up in the whole end of the world mindset….. it was supposed to occur so many times and so often prophesied and not just by novice or the kooks but by extremely intelligent historians and ministers; neither of which I am (well maybe a kook at times).

I choose to live each day like it is my last day. I make sure that the LORD is ordering my steps and guiding my heart. I give my heart to JESUS on every breathing day I have (I may forget, but thank JESUS, he knows my heart). So when I see that news story and the hub bub around how the end is nearing, I actually feel peace.

In 1 Thessalonians 5:2 is a famous verse most of us have heard: For you know quite well that the day of the Lord's return will come unexpectedly, like a thief in the night.

So, no time like the present to get right with GOD, order your steps and give HIM your heart. JESUS wants to not only give you paradise after living but a life here worth living.

PRAYER: Dear GOD, I ask that you lead my heart and I ask that you bless the reader and grasp onto them LORD so that they may live YOUR llife rather than a life filled with fear as to when the end is coming. I ask for this prayer in JESUS precious, wonderful, magnificent, name. Oh… and thank you JESUS for giving me what I do not deserve!



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7/25/2014 0 Comments

Get out of My Way

Every day I am faced with a bump, block, negativity (my own or someone else's) or some type of deterrent to my joy. We all face this in any given day. Whether it is a project that goes differently than we expected, a check that did not quite make it's mark (bounced like a rubber ball) or a child becomes sick; these are all our "stuff". We can let this "stuff" completely ruin our day OR we can scream at it "GET OUT OF MY WAY"!! My grand-daughter had a toy that was a little steering wheel and it literally had this annoying beep beep sound and then shouted, get outta my way.....

So, when these days happen and I can remember and keep my focus (this takes diligent prayer) - I hear that toy's voice in my head. I picture the bible verse Mathew 17:20 : He replied, "Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

I may not have a mountain on that particular day, it may be a little hill but I know that GOD is so much bigger and way more tolerant than me. DEAR JESUS: Give me patience by knowing that you will remove my mountains and I can tell all that steals my joy to get out of my way. JESUS I ask these things in your precious name! Thank you JESUS for giving me what I do not deserve!

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    I am Deni, short for Denise. I grew up in a Jewish home, in a Jewish neighborhood and a Jewish family. In 3rd grade we moved. We moved to a mostly non-Jewish area.... that is where JESUS found me. I say found me because I yet had not acknowledged it, but would find out later.......by grace, HE HELD ME ALL ALONG, just a lil Jewish girl from Philly.

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