Can you even imagine?
I’m a momma. My daughter refers to herself as a “hovering mother”. I call myself a “s-mother”.
I think to myself how unbelievably selfless Mary, mother of CHRIST was.
Her son, who is also THE SON, is hanging upon a cross. Treated no better than a mere criminal. But there is one thing though! There was no crime!
Talk about unfair! Yet, after being betrayed by HIS bud Judas. Left and denied by his friend, Peter. Mocked and tortured by onlookers.
There, in the midst, is a mom. A mom who raised a boy. A mom who kissed a forehead of a boy when he hurt. A mom who looked after and fed and raised a son. Her son but only for a wee time.
Knowing, that it would be different. Having faith that all will be well.
Yet, at the cross, she watches her son, sweating and blood dripping. Stripes of ripped and shredded skin. Being laughed at. Mocked.
Yet, She is a mom.
HE, her son.
Yet to us she hands HIM because GOD told her to.
Faith kept her warm while she watched. Cried.
And then, JESUS, breathes HIS last fleshly breath. And HE cries to HIS FATHER, My GOD, my GOD, why hast Thou forsaken Me?” (Mark 15:34)- “I thirst.” (John 19:28) and then... “It is finished.” (John 19:30)
“FATHER, into Thy hands I commend My spirit.” (Luke 23:46)
All for us. Sinners, no less. No greater love!
And there in the midst were the tears and gentle crying of a mom who mourns and hurts for her son. The same mom that would also be saved and have life ever after in heaven all by HIS deed!
Much of my life, I have been bombarded by harrowing thoughts. Sometimes, to the point of torture.
And be it not for CHRIST and taking every one of those invasive and ruminating thoughts captive to HIM; I don’t know where I would be or what I would do.
I don’t nor would I battle alone. I do know that because of JESUS I can and will overcome! And be victorious and blessed!
It was our annual Easter Egg hunt. I do one for the kiddies and one for the adults.
And I plan. And organize. Yet, each year, it seems that something gets mixed up. I forget eggs - I lose them. I confuse adult eggs with the kids eggs. And each year - all those who come laugh, and make the best of it, in spite.
This year- I laughed along with everyone. Yet, inside... I was sad.
Truth-be-told... I have been forgetting things. Mixing things up. Not just Easter preparation but a lot and more often.
Oh, I joke. I push it off to age, and having so much on my plate, along with the excuse of fatigue.
But in all of this, one saving grace rings true.
Yep! Even with all of the annoying noise playing in my head; and the lapses of memory; I still do hear that still small voice busting through. The calm in these storms. My GOD, my GOD!
When I am dizzy and drowning, and trying to remember in the midst of arrows of off-thinking or complete lapse of thought.... John 10:27-29 rings loud..”My sheep recognize my voice. I know them, and they follow me. I give them real and eternal life. They are protected from the Destroyer for good. No one can steal them from out of my hand.”
And the LORD is MY still small voice when my mind goes blank.
And the LORD is the quiet in the attack of stinking thinking.
So, I am going to be just fine! More than even! Blessed and loved!
And the LORD, HE pulled me out of a dangerous pit, out of the deadly quicksand. HE set me safely on a rock and made me secure. (Ps 40:2).
I. Am. Safe!
Work it! But for who?
Do I work super hard for the moolah? Do I work myself so tired beyond tired to get one more tweet, one more like? Do I work, work, work to get that “atta boy (girl) pat-on-the-back?
Or.... do I sincerely and wholly do all that I can do as I am doing it for the LORD?
If I were assisting a challenging customer or client at work, do I do it begrudgingly?
If I am leading a team, do I do it for my own gain?
What if all that we do..... and all that we are; were servants of the FATHER?
What if GOD was our boss? Our customer? Our client?
Colossians 3:23 guides us in that “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters”
Whatever I do, I am to do it for GOD! That surely changes things now don’t it? My desire will be to please the LORD, not be tryin to get all popular with people.
My heart will be that of a helpful one. Not one that is easily angered at the difficult lady on the phone.
Is this hard stuff to put in action?
Yes. Without a doubt!
Ah... but that is when I remember to count to ten and then count on the LORD and not only on myself!
It ain’t about me. Never was and never will be!
LORD, remind me WHO I serve. Even when stared down with the difficult task, or the challenging person - let me keep my eyes steady on YOU and not my feelings, my plans, my dot dot dot!
Because it IS ALL about YOU LORD! So let me work for YOU and have a heart for YOU in all that I do. When I fall, forgive me , FATHER. I ask that YOU lift me up and allow me to start again! Amen!
“Do this in remembrance of ME, says CHRIST”
When I was a young girl. I remember a holiday called Yom Kippur. A fast was entered into and completed and after there was a great feast!
I didn’t know much then about the logistics of this holiday, except there was going to be a family gathering and a whole bunch of food!
JESUS broke the bread and said this is my body, do this in remembrance of me. (Para Luke 22:19)
I rarely say grace.
Recently, during a woman’s gathering we studied fasting- and my spirit was shaken but my mind was closed.
Or, perhaps - it was the beginning of it being pried open.
Several days ago, while visiting a super delish Jewish deli to have dinner with my daughter and her son, Ben (who says grace often), I, of all people remembered to say grace. And we did.
And I remembered we were in a place where many Jewish people gathered. I got a bit uncomfortable.
Yet, once again bringing to my mind the fact that I am close minded about fasting and often forget to give thanks for my food (aka as “breaking bread”).
For me, there is not just one day of atonement. Every day is. I do give thanks, I do pray and I do repent.
But, I don’t fast and rarely say grace. But, several weeks ago I asked the LORD to help me understand why we only broke bread once a month in church to remember HIM?
And in the LORD’s usual fashion - I asked, HE opened my eyes!
Part of giving thanks, praising and worshipping, praying and repenting each day is remembering what JESUS did for me.
I no longer am required to have a whole day of atonement to remember all my sins but because of CHRIST, each and every day my sins are forgiven.
Because of HIM. Because of CHRIST who gave HIS body and blood for me. And you. And he would have done so if it were just me and you.
This girl, will start open her mind more to the idea of fasting. PLUS, be more cognizant of praying, giving thanks and remembering the miracle of what CHRIST did for her each time she breaks bread (eat)!
Challenge accepted LORD! Help me..
I am not a good girl! I’m just a plain old sinner dressed with good intentions!
Since the beginning of creation, humankind has been battling with sin. Romans 7:14-16 tells it straight up. The tale of our true struggle with sin.
“So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. “
And if not bad enough, I can be a pompous ass (forgive the expletive), who believes I can be perfect and do the right thing on “my own”. I can hold back sin with one hand while preparing dinner with the other. NOT! NOT!
A lil secret: just by thinking I can conquer sin by being a good girl (or trying) is a big fat lie - therefore..... a sin in itself!
The only good in me is provided by JESUS CHRIST. The only way I can even think to battle my sinful nature is to allow myself to first admit that I screw up. And the truth is, when relying solely upon me (and me only), I will continue to screw up!
Not a one of us is a saint. We may do good things, help the poor and so forth and so on.
However, there is a battle deep within every one of us.
It fights against us with every beat of our heart..
AND..it is not only about what we do.... it is in those times when we secretly hate (there isn’t a one of us who don’t; now and again), or cave in to temptation, or..yep, here it comes... when we think we are perfect... aha! that’s a sin too!
Still, GOD loves us, each and every single one of us; no matter where we come from, what we look like, how bad we are, how good we are, etc.
So much, that from way HE walks among us. And furthermore, knowing we needed to be saved, HE sent JESUS to walk among us and suffer for us.
All because GOD loves me this much:
Once I repent, and confess that JESUS is the only way- the only truth - the only good that will reside inside me. Only then will I be truly “good”. Truly Forgiven. Truly Loved.
Just gotta do one thing: admit our powerlessness. Admit that without CHRIST, we will literally will sin to death.
And whence it is said and done; comes Freedom through the Forgiveness Love. Life. and Joy of CHRIST and CHRIST alone!
So, this sinner, she choses love. Yes, unequivocally, happily -I chose JESUS! Because HE and HE alone saved and continues to save a shmuck like me! Amen ❤️
I am Deni, short for Denise. I grew up in a Jewish home, in a Jewish neighborhood and a Jewish family. In 3rd grade we moved. We moved to a mostly non-Jewish area.... that is where JESUS found me. I say found me because I yet had not acknowledged it, but would find out later.......by grace, HE HELD ME ALL ALONG, just a lil Jewish girl from Philly.