Awkward moment to say the least. Yesterday, while out with my children and family, we encountered a difficult situation. We were outside and witnessed a mother being verbally and physically abusive to her very young son. My initial reaction was to say something to this mother.  I felt awful inside and it impacted me to tears, yet I froze in fear and could not do anything but pray. Not that prayer is not the way to go, however, I feel a nudge inside of my heart that I should have done more.

Still left with the feeling that I should have done something; I do realize it is late now to change things and that I will keep that child and the mom in my prayers. Lesson is this, I think next time, I may take some action in JESUS’ name if I feel so led in my heart.

It is that show “What Would You Do’ that comes to my mind. I feel like I let down that child. I feel like most people would have walked away because of fear, or the desire not to get involved as to cause further issue. I need to remember though, that as a child of GOD, I am no longer like most people.

My 2nd oldest would have done something. I often have anxiety inside when situations like these arise because of her outspoken nature. But today I realize that there is a gift in that. I like to believe that she would have been much braver than I who not only did not react but also told the ones I was with to look away.

Those words haunt me. “Look away”

I know I am a work in progress and JESUS will protect that little boy and get inside the heart of that mother. I truly believe that prayer DOES work. I also believe GOD permits situations for our own hearts to grow in HIM.

I can be brave in JESUS. I also need to understand boundaries and when and where to show physical courage. I confuse this in many ways. This situation shows me this on a deeper level.

So, I ask that we pray for the many, many little boys that are berated and physically hurt by a parent that is most likely hardened by life. I also would like to pray for the moms because although I cannot imagine acting quite like that, I know that I have negatively affected my own children because of my own hurts and hang-ups. Moreover, I want to thank JESUS that even though I did not step up, HE WILL!

Persecution….. Being a Jew, there was an assumption that one had an attitude of being persecuted. Rightly so, throughout the Old Testament, history and even now, people of Jewish descent have been persecuted.

Don’t we all go through times though when we all feel persecuted; unjustly blamed or hurt for things that we may not deserve? I hear this saying in the back of my mind whileI write this which is:

“Why ask why, well then,  why not?”

It is easy to see blessings  and be thankful when life is going smooth.  Somewhere there is a child who does not eat on a daily basis yet is thankful for the morsel of food he does receive. Somewhere else, a woman is fighting for her life so she can look into her children’s eyes a little longer and is thankful for each moment her disease fends off.

We all have our feelings of “this is not fair!” And those of us that are parents know that phrase very well. Generally we say “no” to our children because we know what is better for them. But they do not see this, they feel, well, persecuted.

When we are in the middle of a storm, it is hard not to feel that persecution, or life is not fair. I do it. I could win awards for whining and complaining. In essence we all act like children. AND we have the MOST LOVING FATHER!

Recently going through an audit for the second time in a years (this is almost an impossibility); I was thinking WHY???? And then there it was ….. that voice, that said “WHY NOT?”

Sometimes we need to grab the “oh sh*t” handle and pray. That is it and that is it at the simplest. IT really is not that complicated. I wish I could do that much faster than I do currently. I tend to look at things in terms of how I CAN CHANGE IT or CONTROL it. However, GOD ALWAYS has a much better plan. But like a child, I want what I want and I certainly do not want the horrid feeling of not knowing what comes next. Nope, do not like those butterflies floating around my tummy at all.

JESUS rose Lazarus from the dead, healed many and performed miracle after miracle. GOD orchestrated ALL of this so why do we question HIM when things go awry? Because we are children!

Those negative voices in our heads that produce worry and fear and anxiety – that is NOT GOD, no sir, it is NOT! Those thoughts and voices are what Satan uses to try and pull us away. NOTHING SHALL SEPARATE US FROM THE LORD!

When the tiniest of worries set in – pray, ask for prayer, pick that bible up, read a devotional. Did I say pray. Talk to GOD, HE  knows and understands….

That feeling of persecution can be replaced by thinking of a blessing. Remember what GOD has done for you in the past; what GOD has brought you through…..

All in all – this too shall pass. Most likely, you will find yourself in a much better place in the long run. GOD uses all for HIS  good as in Romans 8:28. And In Jeremiah 29:11 HE tells us HE has plans to prosper us and they are not of disaster. 

Relationships are hard. Even the best of relationships are difficult. I am not just speaking of significant others but all kinds of relationships from a spousal one to one with a stranger. We are all different and we think different and we act different and it can cause such dissention. There are hurts, those hurts can lie deep. There is disappointment which can cause distrust.  There are a multitude of feelings that can cause separation; or the lack of a desire to be loving and compassionate.

Positive thinking and attitudes are all wonderful in concept but truthfully where there are wounds, comes a lack of patience, sometimes a feeling of disdain and sometimes, hate.  Being told to “brush it off”, “move forward” or whatever other cliché’s we are told to do is not realistic.

HOW??? How then do we concede to JESUS’ words to be patient with one another.  Esphesians 4:2, says Be completely humble and gentle; be patient and bearing with one another in love. WE RELY ON GOD! WE FILL UP WITH HIS WORD!

Did you see the word “completely”? This does not say when we are in agreement with one another or when we receive good feelings from one another. It tells us we need to bear with one another in love. GOD is love. Feeling what we feel is inevitable. Acting on what we feel is a different thing.

 Thank the LORD, HE forgives, because even as I write this, I can tell you so many incidences just in the last 48 hours where my patience and lack of humility and gentleness came roaring to the front. Even leaving a Joel Osteen event in Philadelphia, I found myself cursing the other drivers around me.

We are not perfect and never will be. We are in a world we are really not a part of. We belong to JESUS. And HE gives us direction so that we live in peace and joy while we are here however HE knows we will fail. And we repent and sin no more. And cry to HIM to fill us with what we lack.

I lack patience in a big way today. I know that there was a quiet moment when I was sitting on my bed, crying and praying and in my heart, I heard “Be patient with one another”. I can tell you I have heard that before but I did not know where in the bible it was. SO I looked and there it was in Esphesians 4:2. LOUD AND CLEAR!!

I have heard that when you are at your weakest point, that is when you sometimes hear JESUS the loudest. I know for me this is probably more often than not. I can get in my own way so often and make bigger messes than a child in mud. HOWEVER, GOD always picks me up, brushes me off, kisses my forehead, corrects me and gently pushes me on my way. HE STILL LOVES ME! That is clearly a love like no other.

PRAYER:  HOLY SPIRIT, fill me and hold me to patience. LORD let me be more patience than yesterday and even more the next. I want to bear with all those around with YOUR LOVE. I know I need to lower my expectations and rest in YOUR hands. Please FATHER, let me LOVE with YOUR  heart and forgive my impatience. Thank YOU for YOUR  patience with me, YOUR  love for me and YOUR forgiveness when I drop the ball. AMEN! 

The words “I’m sorry” are so easy to say. I think I say it way too much. It is almost an automatic. True forgiveness though, has little to do with words. GOD forgives us freely. The slate is wiped clean. Write on- write-off. DONE! There is ABSOLUTELY nothing that we can do that absolves us from that forgiveness.

We humans however, hold on to unforgiving spirits like a miser holding onto his money. OH, we may say, I am sorry but the heart says different. The way to know this is the “bringing back up” theory. I truly just made that up. It is the way we operate. We forgive and do not forget. We attach everyone’s wrongs and bad-doings to them and bring it back up as soon as the circumstance allows. I do it all the time.

Husband and wife fight, and all of a sudden those items from fifteen years ago come sprawling back into the middle of an argument that has nothing to do with those items to begin with. Why do we do that? Why is it that my memory is horrid but I cannot forget the bad things? I carry them around like an over-sized and overstuffed suitcase. They say an elephant never forgets… well I say people do not forget.

JESUS forgets. Once we repent, it is gone. WE may have consequences to deal with due to behavior in the past but the love of JESUS remains. HIS arms are wide and his memory is nil.

I want to learn how to say I am sorry less but have a forgiving heart more. Do you realize that an unforgiving heart also leads to judgment? Who knows why we hold onto past grievances from the past? Justifiably there probably may be sufficient reasons like deep childhood wounds. How do we get past them? How do we make peace with them?  There is only two ways…. A willingness and by the grace of GOD!

If you are ready, then you can ask GOD for the willingness and then the rest will come along. What do you have to lose? Actually you should ask “what do you have to gain”. Peace is one, the ability to experience joy, the healing of a relationship, the ability to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and be ok. Sometimes the unforgiven you harbor and that is weighing you down is not even about another, it is about your own self. The inability to forgive yourself.

DEAR FATHER:

YOU know our heart and our deep dark secrets and love us anyway. I ask that you give me that ability to be able to see myself and others as YOU see me. JESUS I thank you that you do not keep score and that you do not close doors based on what I have done. LORD, I thank YOU for YOUR forgiveness that YOU freely provide to me each and every day because each and every day I sin. GOD, thank you for loving me when I do not have the strength to love myself or belief that I am lovable. IN THE NAME OF THE MOST HIGH, JESUS CHRIST I pray and give thanks, AMEN!